Bob T
01-11-2006, 05:54 AM
* SOME MORE NEEDED HUMOR
Mon Dec 12, 2005
Dear Thirsters:
Here are two items that will provide thinking Americans with momentary humor therapy as they face the prospect of THREE MORE YEARS of almost-unbelievably incompetent, harmful, reactionary and dangerous national “leadership.” At times like this, one yearns to re-write history and give us a parliamentary rather than presidential system.
The first item is from Thirster in Residence Elliott Trommald, historian. The second item is from a respected Thirster in Residence who expressed no desire for anonymity, but, given its content, I think it best that he remain anonymous.
Thanks for the laughs, Elliott and Anonymous!
Best,
Bob
#############################
FROM ELLIOTT TROMMALD:
I fear that Bush may get the Nobel Prize for his scientific contributions. Why didn't [chemist] Marshall [Cronyn] tell us about this at the Table? Elliott
NEW ELEMENT FOUND
The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Government."
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) -- an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
=====================
FROM ANONYMOUS:
SUGGESTION FOR A BUMPER STICKER:
“Will someone please give him a blow job so we can impeach him.”
Mon Dec 12, 2005
Dear Thirsters:
Here are two items that will provide thinking Americans with momentary humor therapy as they face the prospect of THREE MORE YEARS of almost-unbelievably incompetent, harmful, reactionary and dangerous national “leadership.” At times like this, one yearns to re-write history and give us a parliamentary rather than presidential system.
The first item is from Thirster in Residence Elliott Trommald, historian. The second item is from a respected Thirster in Residence who expressed no desire for anonymity, but, given its content, I think it best that he remain anonymous.
Thanks for the laughs, Elliott and Anonymous!
Best,
Bob
#############################
FROM ELLIOTT TROMMALD:
I fear that Bush may get the Nobel Prize for his scientific contributions. Why didn't [chemist] Marshall [Cronyn] tell us about this at the Table? Elliott
NEW ELEMENT FOUND
The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Government."
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) -- an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
=====================
FROM ANONYMOUS:
SUGGESTION FOR A BUMPER STICKER:
“Will someone please give him a blow job so we can impeach him.”